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LYRICS - Scott Helman - Hang Ups

Using a telephone: answer , busy , call Two days later, he dropped a file on my desk with three handwritten pages of notes on his shortlist of cribs. It took me two days to whittle it down to three. Ah, welcome to my world. One down, 49 more items to go. Which of your 24 items would you like to handle next, dear? In spite of this modest victory, I came to realise that achieving a split of household chores is more nuanced than I imagined.

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As any new mother will tell you, the birth of our daughter marked a transformation in the amount and type of household chores our home requires to remain borderline functional. Even for those in dual-income situations, for many, the availability and cost of childcare alone make for an ongoing struggle.

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It has been illuminating — and terrifying — to observe how natural it is for me, unchecked, to take on all the household chores. Think about it. How many times have you experienced the default expectation that one of the women will take the notes during a meeting?

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Or how often is it a female colleague who plans the birthday celebration in the break room or organises the holiday party? Her impetus came from a startling realisation that she spent a lot of time doing favours for colleagues and performing extra work-related activities that had no bearing on how she was evaluated. While her efforts were good for the university and her colleagues, these tasks detracted from her own career. And Babcock was not alone. Remarkably, Babcock discovered that men and women both turn to female colleagues when they need a favour.

The expectation — and unfortunate reality — is that women are more likely to volunteer to help and also more likely to say yes to a request. As a result, women lose out on promotions and advancement opportunities because they spend more time working on non-promotable tasks than their male counterparts. When other women weigh in, it becomes easier to recognise the opportunity costs of saying yes, to encourage each other in saying no, and to bring an end to the explanations, apologies and guilt for declining.

One working mother learns to drop the ball, hang up her cape and just say no

Throughout my career, it has become clear that the first thing women need to do is share our experiences, and to not be afraid to put your hand up when you do feel overwhelmed at home, or taken for granted at work. It starts with recognising our own innate inclinations and behaviours and then rewiring our minds, and reworking our routines, so that we can drop the ball and say no without feeling that it strips us of our superwoman status.

A longer version of this post originally appeared on LinkedIn Pulse. You can read it in full here.

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Ultra Early Bird tickets for Inspirefest are available now. Before she became the CEO of a mobile game company, Gorman was one of the youngest people at her job. She constantly worried about her age and being so young. Bring strong contributions to the table. This is much more important than worrying about what you might not have or how you may be different than others," she said.

Currently, I'm on what is referred to as my "second tour of duty" at a once-former job. I worked there for three years, left to explore other careers during a sabbatical-esque stint, and returned again. I've been back for a second time three years more, and the 'me' in the workplace now is so different than who I was the first time around.

I used to be incredibly quiet and self-conscious. Now, I'm much more relaxed and talkative. Could I have been this way the first time around, knowing what I know now?

As time progressed, Brick realized her job wasn't to be everyone's best friend. Much like Gorman advised, it was to let Brick's contributions guide her forward. Now, she cares about having her achievements acknowledged and letting her results speak for themselves. Search icon A magnifying glass.