While serving as mentors, counselors, advisors, and even cheerleaders, women carry numerous responsibilities.
Lori Wilhite and Brandi Wilson know about this first-hand as the wives of two well-known pastors in America. The trouble with this picture is that it has never been and never will be accurate. They are held to impossible standards by those they serve, and the more this ideal of women in leadership is expected, the more we turn up the intensity in the pressure cooker that is life in ministry. Whole offers hope and encouragement to those women who are looking for authenticity in their lives.
What Pastors Shouldn’t Tell Their Wives | The Heidelblog
This book also provides insight for anyone who has ever wondered what leaders struggle with and how they might pray for them. Married to a Pastor. Thanks for including Whole in your list! Skip to content Please follow and like us:. Please follow and like us:. Related posts:. Encouraging words for a pastors wife. Thank you pastor - from your wife.
Leave a Reply Cancel reply. Pastor Resigns or Let Go. Many spouses have told us that they have adjusted well in times when they knew that God was moving them to another church or ministry. They mentioned that it was hard at first to leave a church in which they have vested so much energy or time, but they knew that God was placing them in another church that needed them. I knew there were problems, but believed that God would undertake on our behalf somehow.
I know the ministry is demanding at times. I believe that we have sacrificed and got to the point of actually being burned-out. My husband tried to seek employment with other churches but soon felt tired, worn out, discouraged, and seemingly had less energy with each dead end. I now realize that it is so easy to sit back and feel sorry for yourself and find fault with your spouse, church, and denomination. I soon realized that nothing would improve while I was in this mood.
I had to do something! Does that sound familiar? She began asking the Lord for direction with the same energy she did when they first started in the ministry. She asked the Lord to give her strength to help her husband through encouraging words, deeds, building self-esteem, and purpose. Involve Your Spouse!!! She realized that there is strength in numbers and that her family needed to be unified in their new journey or ministry that God has for them.
They set aside special times in morning and evening for times of prayer. They gave praises to the Lord first, then they prayed over each other taking turns, and then they prayed for the answer. They prayed for God to open the doors, open their eyes, and be willing to go anywhere and do anything the Lord needed them to do. Involved their Closest Friends as a Support Group.
As they began to pray, they asked a few ministers and close friends to meet with them for prayer and fellowship. They provided snacks and had fellowship with one another but spent most of the time praying over each other, not just for their needs. They found out as they gave out to others, others gave back to them with their support, knowing that this pastor and spouse needed to hear from God. This couple gradually stopped feeling all alone, looked at their blessings, and knew God was going to do something for them.
Contacted their Denomination Regularly. The spouse stated that when they were let go, they felt embarrassed and were reluctant to contact their denomination for help or ask them for suggestions. They finally met face to face with denominational leaders to discuss possible options. The denomination first suggested they fill in for ministers who needed time off or going to a church that just lost their pastor as a way to fill in until the church found someone as pastor.
The pastor and spouse started feeling appreciated having purpose, and their desire to minister increased. Finally, one of the churches where they were filling in asked them to consider being their full time pastor. After much prayer and excitement, they decided to accept. They have now been in that church for many years and look back on those trying times as times of decision, positioning, and allowing God to move in their lives. This pastor and spouse thanks God for His faithfulness and continues to thank Him and others for not giving up on them.
The pastor also appreciates having a partner to stay with him during trying times, bringing the encouragement and help that wsere so vitally needed. Her ministry role changed for a short time in order to be more focused on her husband, but in reality, she was helping to build faith and purpose for herself and her husband.
The Tragic Story of a Hurting Pastor’s Wife
Both agree that God has His timing and never imagined being at their present church. They would not have been there if they had chosen to give up.
Yes, pastors and spouses can have their differences and have sought divorce. One particular spouse felt betrayal from her mate and that her calling is now over. She shares her story. I have been faithful to my husband and I am forgiving him but our marriage is at an end.
The church found out and had asked for us to leave, even though it was not my fault. Our denomination seemed more focused on the church than on our hurts and needs. At times I knew they were interested in healing and restoration, perhaps more with my husband. I cried for myself and asked God why? Why did this happen to me, with all the service, sacrifice, and commitment I had given to the ministry?
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After some time of embarrassment, hiding away from fellow members of the church and fellow ministers, I realized that I had to do something. I cannot be embarrassed all my life, I cannot run away from my situation, and I needed direction and healing for my life. Once she realized that she needed help, she began to do the following:. Sound familiar? James, chapter one says we can ask for wisdom and He will supply it.
She not only asked for wisdom but also provision, strength, and guidance for a work she could do. Get Out!!! She was being reclusive and slowly dying inside. She began visiting other churches in a nearby town on off nights, hoping that no one would recognize her. She began to have boldness and peace once again. She had forgotten how it was to be normal. After the divorce, she felt helpless, gloomy, and without purpose or having the energy to care. She knew that she had wasted so much time and needed change.
She began to watch comedies and laugh. She soon found out that laughter is sometimes the best medicine. Proverbs She laughed as a way to focus on more positive and lighter things in life.
Thoughts on the Rise and Fall of Pastors
She Found Employment and Volunteered. She knew that she had to provide for herself and her family. She asked God to provide the right job for her. She was not trained or experienced in any other occupations or skills outside of the ministry. She volunteered to do small things in the church and in their office. She had asked the pastor and others if they knew employment opportunities.
One day, someone told her of a business owner, who was a church member who had a recent position vacated. She contacted this person. The business owner was excited to have an employee he could trust, hired her immediately and trained her in a field in which she felt comfortable. She began to build self-confidence. Inviting Others into Her Life.
She began to offer certain people over to her house for games, movies, and Bible study. These were new people she became acquainted with from church and work. Her old friends, which she and her former husband had, mostly fell by the wayside. She relied on her new-found friends for comfort and support.
They did not criticize her or take sides. They accepted her for who she is, just as the Lord does! Giving Thanks. As things began to develop in her life, she found purpose again in the church, she found purpose with her relationship with the Lord, she found purpose with others that became friends, and she found new purpose for herself and family. She began giving thanks through songs, hymns, and psalms. Her prayer life has increased.
www.hiphopenation.com/mu-plugins/anne/zisij-grand-rapids-speed.php She is now walking with boldness, freshness, and hope.